Clapbacks 101

We’ve all been there. The horror, the humiliation, the shame. Having a best friend, family member or enemy hurl a stinging insult at you. They hit you where it hurt, stabbing at your deepest insecurities. A moment of panic ensues as those around laugh at your pain. How do you respond? How do you exact your revenge? How do you achieve justice? You clap it right back at them.

Clap backs are an art, perfected only after years of practice. Quick reaction times are crucial and a certain level of saltiness is required for success. If achieved, a good clap back can make you a Twitter legend, a savage in every right.

 

Here are some steps to forming the perfect clap back…*

Step 1: Swallow your pride.

You must first get over the insult thrown at you to come back stronger than ever with a kickin’ clap back.

Step 2: Make eye contact.

Stare down the bully to incite fear, and perhaps an apology. 

Step 3: Rack your brain.

Mentally revisit every conversation, text message and all personal information to find receipts, the root of your clap back.

Step 4:  Quickly, use this dirt as inspiration.

Show no mercy in verbally slaying them. Add attitude to make your delivery even more bitter. With a strong, confident voice (and proper inflection) assert your clap back as fast as possible following the initial insult.

Step 5: Bask in the glory of a perfect clap back.

Look around at the shocked faces, return all offered high fives and give your bully the iconic shrug, showcasing your lack of guilt. Enjoy your new status as a savage, and be sure to never stop clappin’ back. 

*Results may vary, clap backs can be tricky and some people just don’t have it in them.